Do you ever pay attention to how you greet people or how people greet you? I find that most people, including myself, greet people much too quickly especially when we’re at gatherings with lots of people to greet. I find that we often move on to the next person before we’re even finished with greeting the first. By the time we’re done with saying how are you we’re on to shaking the hand of the next person in line. Meanwhile the person who is responding to your “how are you” is already looking on to the next person to say hello and shake hands.
Does that make sense? I’m sure at least some of the people who read this will understand what I’m talking about. We’re always in a rush or maybe we’re just eager but it’s not a good habit to have. Why don’t we give people the time of day? Why don’t we stop to look at each other and smile and greet them directly? What is it going to take 10 maybe 15 seconds per person?
I write this because during my time in Jordan I had a complete exposure to a language I had absolutely no familiarity with aside from knowing a handful of words and phrases. I would often greet people very slowly by default because I was trying to focus on pronouncing words correctly and also looking for facial expressions to make sure I was being understood. It’s pretty embarrassing when you’re trying to say one thing and a simple mispronunciation can turn it into something else completely different.
Tangent: A great example was the time I was speaking to my Abuela in my Spanglish and one morning we’re making breakfast and she asks me ” Como estas, mija?” I simply responded “Ah, bien pero estoy casada.” After a very loud WHAT! and her coffee cup hitting the kitchen counter I quickly realized I had said casada instead of caNsada. the big difference is that the first means married and the latter means tired. I was aiming for the latter but in my sleepy slumber I slipped on the “n” and almost gave my abuela a heart attack. Good times, good times….
But all in all what I’m try to get out of the post for myself and I hope others will as well is to slow down with greeting people and everything else in life. Sometimes through the hustle and bustle of life we can be rude, inconsiderate and hurt people even though it was not our intentions at all. When we rush we lose ourselves. We become more focused on the task than who we are dealing with. So next time your greeting people try to slow down and give them the time of day. Ask them how they are and really listen and look at them when they respond, and if the person is already moving on from you try to stop them. Hold on to their hand or stand in their way in a non-obtrusive way to kind of give the message that “hey, I’m talking to you, that’s right you.”
May Allah subahna wa ta’ala help us all improve ourselves and slow down.
